Dear, Anybody
As the title of this blog suggests: I am an introvert. I have social anxiety and (I haven't been diagnosed with it because I never bring it up to my doctor but) I suffer from depression. This makes it hard to do everyday things. I recently graduated from high school (June '15) and I still haven't gotten a job or my driver's license, much to the disappointment to my parents. They don't seem to understand that I have problems talking to people and that I'm terrified of driving. But I am scheduled to take my permit test this December (either the 11th or the 12th).
I've been looking into different jobs I could do too. Mostly by google searching "Good jobs for people with anxiety." The number one answer is Writer. Which kind of works out but also doesn't. I already write Fanfiction and a few original works and I'm a very creative person but I never have the motivation to write an actual book. If I could write enough poems maybe I could do something with that but I get so unmotivated after a while.
I'm also taking a course on photography which is another job that doesn't really require a lot of talking if you're a nature photographer which is what I want to be. I don't want to deal with people.
Maybe one I get my permit, and practice driving with my mom, I'll feel better with driving and maybe I could get a babysitter/nanny job. I've seen a few on the snag a job app but since I can't drive I never applied.
I recently saw an old classmate of mine working at the local supermarket while I was walking with my mother. I immediately felt like a failure. There I was walking with my mother at the store, no job, no license, no boyfriend (yeah surprise surprise I'm single.) I'm going no where in life.
There's also the problem of not really doing much activity as an introvert which makes it hard to lose weight. I already lost about 23lbs over about a year but I'm sure I've gained almost half of it back by now. It doesn't help that my (also over weight) dad keeps buying junk food. I used to play the wii dance thing and that helped me lose weight but I just feel so fat when the floor shakes. I'm not even THAT over weight. I have a skinny waist but my thighs are huge.
I tried yoga for a bit but I have no motivation. You could say motivation is that I'll lose weight and feel better about myself but I just have no energy either way. I'm terrified to get on the scale ever since I gained 5lbs back. Another cause of the weight loss was that I was barely eating one week (I slept most of the day and cried every night). It was a tough week with no real reason for being that way.
I have a YouTube channel on which I post gaming videos(no facecam) and AMVs (Animated Music Videos not Anime Music Videos) with Batman video game clips and Nightcore songs. Nightcore is much easier to work with because it makes the song shorter.
That's enough rambling. I kinda like the idea of this being formatted in a letter... makes me feel like this is actually going to be read. Well, I'm going to attempt to write more of some of my original stories.
Until Tomorrow
-An Introvert
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